I Would Rather Receive A Pap Smear

The Best Thing About Being 45 Is Not Taking Myself So Seriously. Do I Miss The Package I Came In At 25? I Do. Gravity Is No One's Friend. Yet The Perspective I've Gained Is So Worth The Wear And Tear. What Would Have Mortified Me At 25 Is Now Simply Fodder For A Funny, Relatable Story. Also? I Was A Waitress At 25, And Now I'm An Author. Forty-five Is Definitely Better.

No, It's Not A 'corpse Thing.' I Feel I Lack The Emotional Capacity To Deal With Those In Mourning.

Despite My Best Efforts, I'm Not Quite Perfect. Let's Just Say I'm Like One Of Those Hopi Blankets Where They Leave A Tiny Flaw So As To Not Affront The Lord.

I've Determined The Ideal Job For Me Is One Where I Can Write Clever Essays About My Life And My Employer Will Give Me Enough Money Not Only To Live A Comfortable Existence, But Also To Buy Many, Many New Pairs Of Shoes.

Quinn Cummings Is A Master Story-teller And Her Book Is Nothing Short Of Delightful. Her Insights Into Topics Like Celebrity, Parenting, And Cats With A Taste For Homicide Are Pithy And Uproarious And Not To Be Missed. Notes From The Underwire Is Charming, Hilarious, And Just Snarky Enough To Be Ultimately Satisfying.