I Yearn To Be A Woman Of

When Did The Cell Phone Become A License To Be Rude? And Why Must I Be Subjected To Your Personal Conversations?

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Voluntarily Run 26 Miles. Sometimes I Sit On The Couch Cross-legged Because I Don't Feel Like Walking To The Bathroom.

I'm The Person Who Says Every Single Thing She Thinks, Sometimes To Others' Amusement, And Almost Always To My Detriment.

Ambien Might Have Mentally Just Tossed My Salad. With Croutons.

Despite My Best Efforts, I'm Not Quite Perfect. Let's Just Say I'm Like One Of Those Hopi Blankets Where They Leave A Tiny Flaw So As To Not Affront The Lord.