I Work As Often As I Want

There Have Been People Who Have Tried To Take Advantage Of Me. They Want To Be Linked To Me Just Because I'm Ethel Merman.

The Only Things I Read Are Gossip Columns. If I Read Three Pages Of A Book, I'm Out Like A Light. When I Pick Up The Book Again, I've Forgotten What I've Read And Have To Start Over Again. By Page Three, Even If I've Just Awakened From A Nine -hour Nap, I Fall Asleep Again. So If Anyone Gives Me A Book, It Had Better Have Lots Of Pictures.

Broadway Has Been Very Good To Me. But Then, I've Been Very Good To Broadway.

I Remember Tallulah (bankhead) Telling Of Going Into A Public Ladies' Room And Discovering There Was No Toilet Tissue. She Looked Underneath The Booth And Said To The Lady In The Next Stall, 'i Beg Your Pardon, Do You Happen To Have Any Toilet Tissue In There?' The Lady Said No. So Tallulah Said, 'well, Then, Dahling, Do You Have Two Fives For A Ten?'

Eisenhower Was My War Hero And The President I Admire And Respect Most