I Wish My Name Was Brian Because

If You Want To Talk To Me After The Show, I'd Be Surprised.

I Went To The Store And Bought Eight Apples; The Clerk Said, "do You Want These In A Bag?" I Said, "oh, No, Man, I Juggle."

Stand-up Is An Art But Since It's Humor And It's Funny - A Lot Of Guys That Don't Think It's Art Are Probably Coming From The Angle That They Don't Want To Take It So Seriously. I've Always Looked At It As An Art But I Don't Look At It As A Pretentious Art. I Understand It Has To Be Taken Lightly Because It Is Just Comedy In The End, But The Good Stand-up Comics Are Someone With Something To Say.

I Like Refried Beans. That's Why I Wanna Try Fried Beans, Because Maybe They're Just As Good And We're Just Wasting Time. You Don't Have To Fry Them Again After All.

I Wear A Necklace, Cause I Wanna Know When I'm Upside Down.