I Wish I Could End Every Rap

I Could Still Eat A Cheeseburger If I Wanted To. I Just Can't Have Them Every Day.

Oh, And Once, When I Was In The Marines, I Got A Perfect Score On My Physical Fitness Test.

I Wanted To Do A Show Based On What My Life Would Be Like If I Had Never Become A Comedian.

I Moved From Cleveland To L.a. With A Girlfriend, We Broke Up, And I Lived Out Of My Car For A Year And A Half, On The Road With Nothing On My Mind But Getting My Act Good Enough To Be On 'the Tonight Show.'

Look, This Is An Odd Question, But You're Kind Of Cute And You're Pretty Nice To Me. Are You Drunk? It's Ok If You Are.