I Was Very Good At Kickball ...

Every Joke Has Its Origin - The Punching People In The Face Joke. It Hurts Like Hell To Get Punched In The Face.

If You Lie To A Person At Least Tell Someone Else You've Lied To The Truth. It Balances Out Your Karma.

Every Great Thing Starts With An Idea, Followed By A Doubt And Finally A Resolve To Abandon Or Pursue. Victory Is A Treacherous Journey.

I Once Overheard The Sweetest Old Woman Behind Me On A Train Tell Her Adorable Old Husband As He Scoffed Down A Ham Sandwich She Had Brought Along, "if You Ever Yell At Me To "stop Bringing A Ham Sandwich With Me Every Where We Go" Again? Next Time I'm Bringing A Gun. And I'm Blowing Your God Damn Head Off."

When You Hand Someone A Camera, Why Do They Act Like You Just Asked Them To Dissemble A Bomb? They Take It And They're Like, 'what Do I Do ... I Don't Really ... Ha-huh ...' Yeah, It's The Button On The Top Right Where It Always Is Since The Beginning Of #*@! Time!