I Have New Ideas Every Day, And

Dear Semi Hot Girl Taking Photos On A Boat. It's Not Your Boat So Stop Acting Like You Own It. You Drive A Used Civic.

I Don't Hate Anyone. I Simply Block Them Out Using Hellish Visions In A Blind White Rage. But If I See Them Out I'm Pleasant.

I Don't Know If I Could Kill Someone With A Frozen Turkey Because That Is A Lot Of Evidence To Eat .... Unless I Found A Whole Room Of People Who Also Wanted That Person Dead.

I Love Hecklers. They Remind You That You Are A Comedian.

No One Wants To Drown. Drowning Would Be The Worst. Cause Everyone Knows That Feeling. That Feeling, Oh It's The Worst... When You Think You're Drowning.