I Have New Ideas Every Day, And

Saw A Lost Dog Sign With A Pic Of The Dog And A Little Boy Hugging It. I'm Assuming The Kids Safe And We're Just Focusing On The Pooch.

When You Are Doing Stand-up Comedy, You Are The Writer, Producer, Director, Sometimes Bouncer.

There Was A Girl I Loved In High School - But Never Spoke To. Cut To My Five-year Reunion: I'm An Entirely Different Person.

Then It Was Snack Time, Right In The Middle Of Mass. Right Out Of Nowhere, The Priest Would Look Down And Say, 'let's Have Some Yum Yums!' You Would Get In Line - You Would Jump In The Line - And You Would Go Up And Get The Crouton O'christ.

Listening To Evanescence Makes Me Want To Break Up With A Girl In Real Time As A Giant Antique Hourglass Falls To The Floor In Slow Motion.