I Was Raised By A Mother Who

I Have A Love In My Life. It Makes Me Stronger Than Anything You Can Imagine.

Of Course, I Peed My Pants, Everyone My Age Pees Their Pants. It's The Coolest.

In High School I Wanted To Be A Rock Star And Was In A Lot Of Bands.

My Kids Don't Have A Trust Fund, They Have A Debt Fund. And When I Die, They're $4 Million In The Hole.

The Problem With Me, As Far As Getting Married And Having A Family, Is That My Comedy Is So Important To Me. So I Don't Know If I'll Ever Be As Good A Dad As My Dad.