I Was In A Panto Last Year,

I'm Staying In A Lovely Hotel, Dressing Robe Behind The Door, Lovely Fluffy Sheets - Took Me A Half An Hour Getting My Suitcase Closed.

So I Rang Up British Telecom, I Said 'i Want To Report A Nuisance Caller', He Said 'not You Again'.

A Man Up In Front Of A Judge Says "i Don't Recognise This Court." "why Not?" "it's Been Redecorated Since The Last Time I Was Here."

People In Northern Ireland Vote For Their Church, They Don't Vote With Their Heads; It Is Ridiculous.

A Girl Asks Her Doctor, "doctor, I've Forgotten To Take My Contradictory Pill!" The Doctor Says: "are You Ignorant?" The Girl Says: "yes, Three Months!"