I Was In A Panto Last Year,

Someone Threw A Petrol Bomb At Alex Higgins Once And He Drank It!

An Englishman, An Irishman And A Scotsman Walk Into A Bar. The Barman Looks At Them And Says: "is This Some Kind Of A Joke?"

A Man Goes Into Boots And Says: "have You Got Any Viagra?" "do You Have A Prescription?" Asks The Chemist. "no," He Replies, "but 'i've Got A Photograph Of The Wife."

What's The Difference Between A Rottweiler And A Poodle Peeing On Your Leg? You Let The Rottweiler Finish.

A Man Says To The Doctor: "what's The Good News?" "you've Got 24 Hours To Live." He Says: "what's The Bad News?" The Doctor Says: "we Should Have Told You Yesterday."