A Man Goes Into Boots And Says:

A Man Walked Into A Shop And Asked, "how Much Are Your Eggs?" He Said "£1.40 A Dozen". He Then Asked: "how Much Are Your Cracked Ones?" He Said: "35p". He Said: "crack Us Four Dozen."

I Was In A Panto Last Year, Aladdin And The Wonderful Lamp. I Played The Wick. I Got The Sack Because I Was Too Well-oiled Every Night.

I Am Accusing Him Of Stealing My Best Material, He Was A Very Funny Man.

My Idea For Peace In The Middle East Is To Go Back To The 1966 Line, But To Build Even More Houses For The Palestinians, Who Are A Poor People.

People In Northern Ireland Vote For Their Church, They Don't Vote With Their Heads; It Is Ridiculous.