I Was Home Educated But Would Skip

We're All Gonna Lie, We're All Gonna Cry, And We're All Gonna Take Painful Shits.

Every Time You Come In From Cheating On Someone, They'll Just Whip Out The Most Adorable Term Of Endearment. Like, They'll Wake Up, Bright And Early, Sleep In Their Eyes And Say: "hey, Perfect."

When You Delete Pictures Of Your Ex Off Your Phone, It Feels Lighter.

I Always Wanted To Do A B&e. Not Bacon And Eggs. Although I Could Always Go For Bacon And Eggs. I'm Talking About Breaking In And Entering.

I've Always Read Books And Loved Human Behavior Since I Was Ten Or Twelve Years Old. Maybe Even That's Why I Wanted To Do Comedy.