I Was Excited About The Dark Knight

My Tears Cure Cancer Too, It's Just That I Laugh At Cancer Patients.

Michael Eisner Contacted Me Once And Asked Me If He Could Change The Name Of Disneyland To 'braffland.' I Said No, Because Whenever I Go To Disneyland There's Always Fat People Everywhere Wearing Tight Clothes. Disneyland, Frankly, Has A Lot Of Improving To Do Before It Gets My Namesake.

It Has Been Pretty Much Downhill Ever Since The 13th Amendment

I Have A Great Relationship With My Parents. I Have Not Been On Lithium.

In April 1975 I Was Born And The Vietnam War Ended. I Could Not Let Any American Die In War Before Seeing An Episode Of Scrubs.