I Was Doing Comedy In Laundry Mats

I'm Bringing Back The Skinny Tie But Wearing It Tied Around My Balls.

I Was Told By A Girl Once That I Should Teach A Course On How To Kiss Properly. I Thought That Was Really A Nice Compliment. I Then Asked Her What She Thought About My Sexual Prowess And She Recommended I Talk To A Guy She Used To Date. Body Blow.

When I Have A Really Hot Date At A Show, I Definitely Make It A Point To Use Her Name. The Girls Really Love That.

People Know I Have A Good Time On Stage. I Love My Life. I Love My Job.

There Was A Girl I Loved In High School - But Never Spoke To. Cut To My Five-year Reunion: I'm An Entirely Different Person.