I Was Born In August, No July,

There Never Was A Man On Earth Who Pitched As Much As Me. But The More I Pitched, The Stronger My Arm Would Get.

I Don't Know How Old I Am Because A Goat Ate The Bible That Had My Birth Certificate In It. The Goat Lived To Be Twenty-seven.

One Time I Snuck A Ball On With Me And When I Went To Winding Up, I Threw One Of Them Balls To First And One To Second. I Was So Smooth I Picked Off Both Runners And Fanned The Batter Without That Ump Or The Other Team Even Knowing It.

When A Batter Swings And I See His Knees Move, I Can Tell Just What His Weaknesses Are Then I Just Put The Ball Where I Know He Can't Hit It.

One Time He (cool Papa Bell) Hit A Line Drive Right Past My Ear. I Turned Around And Saw The Ball Hit His Ass Sliding Into Second.