I Want To Work For Myself, And

This Is Why The Terrorists Hate Us. And It's Not The Glitter And It's Not The Pomp And Circumstance. We've Got Black And White, We've Got Hispanic And Asian, We Got Gay, Straight, And Guttenberg, All Working Together For One Common Goal: To Get The Mirror Ball. And The Mirror Ball Doesn't Care What Color You Are, And It Doesn't Care How Rich Your Parents Are, And It Doesn't Care What God You Pray To. It's An Even Wooden Floor, And May The Best Man Or Woman Win. And I Say God Bless Dancing With The Stars, And God Bless The Usa.

I Get Depressed At Airports.

You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything That Takes Six Minutes To Microwave.

There's No Bigger Atheist Than Me. Well, I Take That Back. I'm A Cancer Screening Away From Going Agnostic And A Biopsy Away From Full-fledged Christian.

That's An Interesting Philosophical Question. When Your Boner Goes Away, Is That One Gone... Forever?