I Want All This Loud Profanity In

The Mother May Be Doing Ninety Percent Of The Disciplining, But The Father Still Must Have A Full-time Acceptance Of All The Children. He Never Must Say, "get These Kids Out Of Here; I'm Trying To Watch Tv." If He Ever Does Start Saying This, He Is Liable To See One Of His Kids On The Six O'clock News.

I've Got A Ferrari. Vroom! I Do 104 From The Garage To The Front Door.

Whenever Your Kids Are Out Of Control, You Can Take Comfort From The Thought That Even God's Omnipotence Did Not Extend To His Kids.

While Fathers Are Pleasant Figureheads, There Is A Special Bond Between Children And Their Mothers. 'do You Help Your Mother Clean Up The House?' I Asked One Girl Of Seven. 'no,' She Sweetly Replied, 'i Help Make The Mess.' It's A Dirty Job But Somebody's Got To Do It.

Nothing Separates The Generations More Than Music. By The Time A Child Is Eight Or Nine, He Has Developed A Passion For His Own Music That Is Even Stronger Than His Passions For Procrastination And Weird Clothes.