I Used To Have Mad Cow's Disease,

Politically Correct Is The Language Of Cowardice.

I'd Always Been Scared Of People With Tertiary Education And High Intellects In Case They Found Me Wanting. I Thought They Viewed Me As Just A Welder Who Knew A Few Jokes.

Scottish-americans Tell You That If You Want To Identify Tartans, It's Easy - You Simply Look Under The Kilt, And If It's A Quarter-pounder, You Know It's A Mcdonald's.

I?m Much Bigger In Britain Than I Am There. I'm Well-known, But My Name's That Guy In America. . . . People Shout: "hey ? I Know You! You're That Guy.".

I Think Comedy Is Difficult, And I'm Amazed So Many People Want To Do It. I'll Be Buying Jeans And Somebody Will Say, "i'm A Comedian" - The Guy Selling You The Jeans. The Desire To Be A Comedian Is Weird. I Found It Weird Myself To Want To Be One; I Was A Schoolboy When I Wanted To Be One But I Didn't Know How To Do It. That Was 50 Years Ago, So Times Have Changed Greatly. There Seems To Be A Long Line Of People Desperate To Do It And Most Of Them Are Quite Good.