I Used To Be A Longshoreman. I

When You Did Impressions On 'madtv,' The Producers Gave You A Walkman That Played Huge Sections Of Whatever Movie Was Being Parodied, With Your Character's Catchphrases Recorded On A Loop. You'd Wear This Thing Around During Rehearsals And For A Week Listen To The Voice You Had To Impersonate Over And Over Again. It Drove All Of Us Crazy.

Artie Is Going To Do What Ever Artie Wants To Do.

It's A Life Of Five-card Draw, And You Know What? When God Asked Me - I'm Fine With The Card I Got. I'm Gonna Play This.

Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem To Incur Some Kind Of Fine.

Whiskey Will Always Be A Part Of My Life.