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I Tell You, The Economy Is In Bad Shape. In Fact, The Economy Is So Bad, President Barack Obama's New Slogan Is 'spare Change You Can Believe In.'

For The First Time The People Of Iraq Are United. Today On Cnn I Saw A Kurd, A Shiite And A Member Of The Republican Guard Coming Together To Cart Off A Big Screen Tv.

If Any Job Should Give You A Company Car, It's The Car Bomb Business.

In Afghanistan, U.s. Troops Are Now Holding An American Man Who Has Been Fighting Alongside The Taliban. His Mother Says He Was Born In Washington, D.c. And His Father's A Lawyer. Well, That Explains It. ... He Surrendered To Authorities And Said He Wants To Go Back To His Old Job - Airline Security Guard.

When You Do Late-night Tv, You Do Different Jokes In The Same Place Every Night. When You're On The Road As A Comedian, You Do The Same Jokes In A Different Place Every Night.