I Think Pickles Are Cucumbers That Sold

Swiss Cheese Is The Only Cheese You Can Draw And People Can Identify. You Can Draw American Cheese, But Someone Will Think It's Cheddar. It's The Only Cheese You Can Bite And Miss. "hey Mitch - Does That Sandwich Have Cheese On It?" "every Now And Then!"

I Don't Get The Regular Aids Test Anymore. I Get The Roundabout Aids Test. I Ask My Friend Brian, "do You Know Anybody Who Has Aids?". He Says, "no". I Say, "cool, Because You Know Me."

Comedy Clubs Have Brick Walls Behind The Performer. Bricks Make You Funny. When I'm In Front Of A Fireplace, I'm Hilarious.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!

I Think We Should Only Get 3 Honks A Month On The Car Horn. Then, Someone Cuts You Off, You Press The Horn, And Nothing Happens. You're Like, "crap! I Wish I Hadn't Seen Ricky On The Sidewalk!"