A Severed Foot Is The Ultimate Stocking

I Don't Get The Regular Aids Test Anymore. I Get The Roundabout Aids Test. I Ask My Friend Brian, "do You Know Anybody Who Has Aids?". He Says, "no". I Say, "cool, Because You Know Me."

I Wish They Made Fajita Cologne, Because That Stuff Smells Good. What's That You're Wearing? That's Sizzlin'!

We're Gonna Have To Sweeten Some Of These Jokes For The Cd. You Know What Sweeten Means, Right? Sweeten Is A Show-biz Term For "add Sugar To".

People Teach Their Dogs To Sit; It's A Trick. I've Been Sitting My Whole Life, And A Dog Has Never Looked At Me As Though He Thought I Was Tricky.

I Can Whistle With My Fingers, Especially If I Have A Whistle.