I Think My New Iphone 5s Is

I Think People Don't Understand That Comedy Is An Outlet For Me. Comedy Allows Me To Get Outside Of Myself, And Exercise This Thing That Is Still Kind Of Scary To Me.

I Guess Ultimately A Lot Of Comedians Just Wanna Be Taken Seriously.

It's Nice To Be In A Place Where I Can Be A Little More Selective, And To Be Sought Out For Ideas That I Have.

Sleep Is So Cute When It Tries To Compete With The Internet.

Once A Person Has A Child, The First Question Everyone Asks Is: "are You Going To Have More Children?" But It Basically Means: "are You Going To Have More Sex With Your Wife In The Hopes Of Having Children?