I Think My Best Work Is When

If Bill Gates Woke Up With Oprah's Money He'd Jump Out The Window.

There's Math, And Everything Else Is Debatable!

We Americans Commercialize Everything. Look At What We Did To Christmas. Christmas Is Jesus' Birthday. Now, I Don't Know Jesus, But From What I Read He Was The Least Materialistic Person Who Ever Walked The Earth. No Bling On Jesus. He Kept A Low Profile And We Turned His Birthday Into The Most Commercial Day Of The Year. In Fact We Have A Whole Jesus Birthday Season. And Then At The End Of It, We Have The Nerve To Have An Economist Come On Tv And Say What A Horrible Jesus Birthday Season We Had.

Stand-up Comedy Is Like The Lowest Medium In All Of Show Business In Levels Of Respect.

After I Left High School And Got My Ged, I Studied Broadcast Journalism For A Year At A Community College.