I Think Looks Do Matter On Television.

I Think That Comedy Is A Good Defense For A Child. Because You Know Childhood Is A Nightmare As It Is. And So Why Not Use Comedy And Being Funny As A Defense To Get Through Your Life As Opposed To Drugs, Alcohol And Good Looks? Because Those Things Are Dangerous When Your Young.

I Don't Get Jealous Of People. Jealousy Is Such A Waste Of Time Because You're Jealous Of Them, And They Go About Their Lives And Have A Wonderful Time, So What's The Point?

I Interviewed Ann Coulter When I Was Sitting In For Larry King A Couple Of Times, And We Have A Rapport. I Like To Talk To Her.

The Republicans Do Not Have Feeling For People Who Are In Bad Shape.

I Have A Friend Who Actually Told Me That She'd Rather Be Dead Than Be Fat. This Is A Woman Who, If I Order A Sandwich At Lunch, She'll Order A Salad. If I Order A Salad, She'll Order Half A Cantaloupe. If I Order Half A Cantaloupe, She'll Order A Cup Of Coffee. This Bizarre Contest Continues Until She's Down To Sucking On A Mint-flavored Toothpick. At This Rate, Her Preference For Dying Over Being Fat Could Be A Reality Sooner Than She Thinks.