I Think Capital Punishment Works Great. Every

I Don't Dislike Children, I Just Don't Particularly Want To Be Around With Them A Lot. Problem Is, Neither Do Their Parents.

I Never Thought I'd Say This, What Obama Needs In His Personality Is A Little George Bush.

Reverend Ted Haggard's Followers Still Think He's Not Gay. I'm Not Kidding. In Their World, There Are No Gay People. There Are Just Straight People Who Are Sinning. They Don't Want To Do It, But The Devil Makes Them! He Targets People Like Reverend Ted. That's How It Happened. The Devil Got Hold Of Reverend Ted, And Ted Said, 'get Thee Behind Me, Satan! And Put It In, Gently'.

[obamacare] Was Going To Be The Republicans' Big Issue, And They're Not Talking About It Because It's Working.

Ted Cruz, Of Course, Was Furious That The Big Storm Back East Shut Down The Government. He Said, 'that My Job!' But You Know, There Is A Big Difference Between Ted Cruz And Snow. Both Are White And Everyone’s Sick Of Them – But Eventually Snow Goes Away.