If I Thought The Lord Was Speaking

I Never Thought I'd Say This, What Obama Needs In His Personality Is A Little George Bush.

Why Are We Working So Hard To Preserve Iraq, A Fake Country To Begin With? Why Do We Care Whether This Fake Country That Was Drawn On The Map 100 Years Ago Remains?

When We Talk About Values, I Think Of Rationality In Solving Problems. That's Something I Value. Fairness, Kindness, Generosity, Tolerance. That's Different. When They [conservative Right Wing Republicans] Talk About Values, They're Talking About Things Like Going To Church, Voting For Bush, Being Loyal To Jesus, Praying. These Are Not Values.

When I Do Stand-up Around The Country, I Often See People Walk Out. This Is A Show That They've Purposely Gone To, Where My Name Is On The Ticket, And It Cost Them $75 Or Something. So, You Think, Wow, That Means That They Either Didn't Know Very Much About Me When They Bought Their Tickets Or They're That Offended By What I've Said. I've Been Doing This A Long Time. Anybody Who Comes To One Of My Shows Must Sort Of Have An Idea Of Where I'm Coming From.

Anyone Who Tells You That They Know, They Just Know What Happens When You Die, I Promise You, You Dont. How Can I Be So Sure? Because I Dont Know And You Do Not Possess Mental Powers That I Do Not.