I Think All The Funny People Were

They Don't Want You To Vote. If They Did, We Wouldn't Vote On A Tuesday. In November. You Ever Throw A Party On A Tuesday? No. Because Nobody Would Come.

An Entertainer's Reputation As A Live Act Is The Most Valuable Thing He Or She Can Have. If People Know You Give Good Shows, You'll Never Be Broke For The Rest Of Your Life.

You Can't Think The Thoughts You Want To Think If You Think You're Being Watched.

Stand-up Comedy Is Like The Lowest Medium In All Of Show Business In Levels Of Respect.

I Got Love From My Family. I Don't Really Need Love From A Paper, You Know What I Mean? I Can't Get Too Happy Because Somebody Said Something Nice About Me. I Appreciate It, But Let's Not Get It Twisted - This Is Not Changing My Life.