If You're The President You Only Have

When You Make Comedy, You Make It For The People And You Try To Have As Many Screenings And As Many Tests And You Do Focus Groups And You Read The Cards And You Try To Give The People What They Want In This Comedy.

I'm Pretty Good At Getting Over People Throwing Stuff At Me. If You've Been Doing Stand Up Long Enough You Know How To Swing Back And Get The Laughs.

There Are A Lot Of Good Comics, No Doubt, But As Far As The Quality Of The Comics Goes, I Think What You Have Is A Bunch Of Situational Comics - There Are Black Comics That Work Only Black Crowds, Gay Comics That Do Only Gay Crowds, And Southern Comics That Only Work Down South, And So On With Asian, Latino, Indian, Midgets, Etc. The Previous Generation's Comics Were Better Because They Had To Make Everybody Laugh.

Nobody Ever Says, 'hey Daddy, Thanks For Knockin' Out This Rent.' 'hey Daddy, I Sure Love This Hot Water.' 'hey Daddy, It's Easy To Read With All This Light.' Nobody Give A Fk About Dads!

I Used To Have Horrible Cars That Would Always End Up Broken Down On The Highway. When I Tried To Flag Someone Down, Nobody Stopped. But If I Pushed My Own Car, Other Drivers Would Get Out And Push With Me. If You Want Help, Help Yourself - People Like To See That.