If You're The President You Only Have

If A Woman Tells You She's Twenty And Looks Sixteen, She's Twelve. If She Tells You She's Twenty-six And Looks Twenty-six, She's Damn Near Fourty.

Don't Argue! You Cannot Win, You Cannot Beat A Woman In A Arguement. It's Impossble You Will Not Win. Cause Men, We Are Handicapped When It Comes To Arguing Cause We Have A Need To Make Sense

I've Told Michael Jackson Jokes. If You Got Really Technical, You Could Say Those Are Jokes About Child Molestation. You Could, If You Got Technical. A Lot Of This Is Just Selective Outrage Because Honestly, The Audience Are The Ones That Tell Us That Something Shouldn't Be Spoken. The Audience Lets Us Know. And I've Never, In My Almost 30 Years Of Being A Comedian, Seen A Comedian Continue To Tell A Joke That The Audience Doesn't Respond To. I've Never Seen It.

Everyone Has Favorite Criminals. Mine Are Pimps. We Can All Rob A Bank; We Can All Sell Drugs. Being A Pimp Is A Whole Other Thing.

If You Can Keep Your Son Off The Pipe And Your Daughter Off The Pole, You're Ahead Of The Game.