I Think About Death. I Don't Want

I Didn't Get A High School Diploma. I Really Didn't Have Much Of An Education, Which Left Me Open To Educating Myself Throughout My Life, Without The Limitations On Intellectual Curiosity A Formal Education Can Impose. I Followed What Interested Me.

I've Never Been Able To Write For Stand-up.

Calgary Wins For My Coldest New Year's Eve Gig. That's When I Learned Fahrenheit And Celsius Cross At 40 Below. I Could See Callers' Breath Coming Out Of My Phone.

I Have No Complaints About Losing Money I Put In High-risk Investments. I Did Some Of That When I Had Real Money; My Informed Choice, My Measured Gamble.

Pigs Are Smarter Than Dogs, And Both Are Smarter Than Congress.