I Started Being A Comedy Fan When

I Have A Time Machine At Home. It Only Goes Forward At Regular Speed

Employee Of The Month Is A Good Example Of How Somebody Can Be Both A Winner And A Loser At The Same Time.

When You're Wearing An Animal Costume And Something Bad Happens, Your Facial Expression Doesn't Change. The Animal Is Deadpan The Whole Time. If You're Skiing In A Gorilla Suit And You Fall, You Just See A Gorilla Who Has No Emotion. It's Just A Stoic Gorilla, Wildly Falling Down A Hill, Out Of Control.

I Like When People Wear A Wwjd Bracelet, Because It's Like An Example Of The First Thing Jesus Wouldn't Do, Probably.

My Policy Is 'no Stone Throwing Regardless Of Housing Situation.'