I Run Me Like A Conglomerate, Because

No Libraries, No Progress.

Never Slap A Man Who Chews Tobacco.

In High School, I Weighed 175 To 180. I Looked Like Abraham Lincoln. I Was 6-foot-3, Biggest Thing In The Class, But Tall, Not Fat.

Viewers Figure, 'uncle Willard Doesn't Know Any More About The Weather Than I Do.' They're Right.

Having A Phobia Has Changed Me.