I Really Hated Fighting People And Hurting

I Had A Longing For Ritual, Something I Could Cling To, A Routine To Make Me Feel Well And Contented. I Hoped That Reading Bible Commentaries And Theological Critiques Would Nudge Me Closer To Some Kind Of Absolute That I Could Hold Up As A Torch To Light My Way.

And People Are Intrigued If I Really Am As Grumpy In Real Life. People Feel A Bit Let Down If I'm Laughing Or Smiling.

But I Like Going To Church. If You've Been Brought Up In The Church Of England, It Feels Like Visiting An Elderly Relative. And I Think It's Important That Part Of The Kids' Education Is Knowing About The Bible.

I Was So Keen To Become A Comedian That Actually Doing The Comedy Itself Almost Came Second.

People Who Are Pro Smacking Children Say, 'it's The Only Language They Understand.' You Could Apply That To Tourists.