I've Been Outed As A Christian.

Bacon Bits Are Like The Fairy Dust Of The Food Community.

I Do Kind Of Aspire To Do Comedy That Appeals To A Wide Range Of Audiences And Doesn't Divide People. I Never Want To Do Material That Makes People Laugh At The Expense Of Making Other People Feel Bad - Not To Say I'm Not Guilty Of That At Times. ... I Try And Make Humor Out Of The Really Important Issues Of The Day, Like Hot Pockets And Elevators And Not Wanting To Get Out Of Bed.

Don't You Think It's Strange How Many Referees Work At Footlocker?

Raising Kids May Be A Thankless Job With Ridiculous Hours, But At Least The Pay Sucks.

It's So Obvious The Weather Channel Is Pro Hurricane. Fair And Balanced My Ass.