I've Been Outed As A Christian.

One Of The Benefits Of Eating Salad Is That You Can Eat Tons Of It And Never Be Satisfied.

You Ever Find Yourself Being Lazy For No Reason At All? Like, You Pick Up Your Mail, You Go In Your House, You Realize You Have A Letter For A Neighbor. You Ever Just Look At The Letter And Go "hm. Looks Like They're Never Getting This. It'll Take Too Much Energy To Go Back Outside. I'm Gonna Get That To Them Later On. Right Now I Gotta Watch Some 'love Connection.' They Got Some New Host On There."

It's Strange How Interesting Your Dreams Are, But When Someone Tries To Tell You Their Dream You're Just Like "whatever! Why Don't You Send Me An E-mail So I Can Delete It?"

The Thanksgiving Tradition Is, We Gorge. Hey, What About At Thanksgiving We Simply Consume A Considerable Measure? However We Do That Consistently! Goodness. Imagine A Scenario Where We Consume A Ton With Individuals Who Pester The Heck Out Of Us.

I Think When I Started Doing Stand-up, That's When I Really Tried To Question Everything In My Belief System Which Is - I Think A Pretty Important Part Of Being A Comedian Is Really Questioning Things.