I Prefer To Believe That People Are

You Know That Song That Asks, "why Do Fools Fall In Love?"? I Think The Obvious Answer Is Because They're Fools.

I Put A Basketball In Front Of George Clooney's Door And Sprayed It With Supermodel Perfume To Lure Him Out.

When People Show Me Clothing That Seems Very, Very Feminine, It's Hard For Me To Embrace That, Because It Just Doesn't Feel Like Me.

The Good Psychic Would Pick Up The Phone Before It Rang. Of Course It Is Possible There Was Noone On The Other Line. Once She Said "god Bless You" I Said, "i Didn't Sneeze" She Looked Deep Into My Eyes And Said, "you Will, Eventually." And Damn It If She Wasn't Right. Two Days Later I Sneezed.

Penguins Mate For Life. Which Doesn't Really Surprise Me, Because They All Look Exactly Alike. It's Not Like They're Gonna Meet A Better-looking Penguin Someday.