I Never Watch The Dinah Shore Show-

Debbie Reynolds Is As Wistful As An Iron Foundry.

I Don't Like To Play The Piano. It Makes Me Too Attractive.

I Am No More Humble Than My Talents Require.

I'm A Concert Pianist, That's A Pretentious Way Of Saying I'm Unemployed At The Moment.

When I Can't Sleep, I Read A Book By Steve Allen.