I Never Saw Anything Funnier Than Texas

I Believe All Southern Liberals Come From The Same Starting Point--race. Once You Figure Out They Are Lying To You About Race, You Start To Question Everything.

The First Rule Of Holes: When You're In One Stop Digging.

Imagine Wasting All That Perfectly Good Anger On Paranoid Fantasies. Not Since Emily Litella Got Upset About "soviet Jewelry" Has There Been Such A Waste Of Anger. You Will Notice A Certain Theme To These Emily Litella Moments. Behind Them All Is A Touching Faith That Someone, Somewhere Is Actually In Charge Of What's Happening - A Proposition I Beg Leave To Doubt.

The Trouble With Blaming Powerless People Is That Although It's Not Nearly As Scary As Blaming The Powerful, It Does Miss The Point. Poor People Do Not Shut Down Factories... Poor People Didn't Decide To Use 'contract Employees' Because They Cost Less And Don't Get Any Benefits.

It's Hard To Argue Against Cynics - They Always Sound Smarter Than Optimists Because They Have So Much Evidence On Their Side.