I Never Knew What An Engineer Did

Good Ideas Have No Value Because The World Already Has Too Many Of Them. The Market Rewards Execution, Not Ideas.

There Are Very Few Personal Problems That Cannot Be Solved Through A Suitable Application Of High Explosives.

The Dilbert Principle: People Are Idiots.

As Network Administrator I Can Take Down The Network With One Keystroke. It's Just Like Being A Doctor But Without Getting Gooky Stuff On My Paws.

You Probably Think Stephen Hawking Is In That Wheelchair Because Of A Motor Neuron Disease. But If You Got As Much Barely-legal Student Poontang As The Hawkster, You'd Be In A Wheelchair Too.