I Never Knew If I Would Get

Disasters Are Funny To Me. As A Comedian You Learn From Failure, So I'm Always Trying To Put Myself In A Situation That Does Not Seem Ideal For My Comedy And See How It Works.

Disgusting. I Just Found My Grandpa's Viagra. I Swear, I Almost Puked From Eating So Many.

Everyone Has The Same Kind Of Fears; Everyone Has The Same Big Problems In The World, Which Is, Like, Fear Of Death And I Hope Horrible Things Dont Happen To My Family, But They Do. And I Think People Laugh At Them As This Great Release.

I Think My Friends Wife Has Been Banging A Black Guy. Because They Just Had A Baby. And The Baby Had A Hole In It.

You Know How Everybody Has That One Weird Creepy Uncle? Well, Seth Green Looks Like He Got Raped By All Of Them.