I Mean, Yeah, I Want To Lose

Look, You Know, You Can't Please Everybody. I'm A Stand-up Comic. I Know That. It Doesn't Matter How Funny You Are And How Well You Do, There's Two People That Are Going To Walk Out Of There Hating You.

Whenever I Realize I'm Being A Goofball, I Write It Down. When I Release The Joke Onstage, I Love Watching The Effect It Has On The Audience. No One Wants To See Someone Talk Who Takes Themselves Too Seriously.

Stand-up Will Always Come First. I've Been Doing It For 22 Years, And Nothing Compares To That Connection You Have With The Audience. It's Euphoric.

I Come From A Working-class Family In Pittsburgh, Whereas 'mike & Molly' Deals With The Working Class In Chicago. I Swear A Little, But I Pretty Much Talk The Same. It's Not Like When You See Someone Like Tim Allen And He's A Lot Bluer Onstage.

You Need A Wisecracking Buddy Standing Next To You? That's The Role For Me. You Got The Guys Who Are Knock-down, Drag-out Handsome. That's What People Want To See. Let That Guy Be The Hero. But There's Always A Role For The Everyman.