Sometimes Wrong Is Worth The Funny!

Yeah, I've Done Jim Breuer's Radio Show A Couple Times, And I Heard From Larry The Cable Guy When I Got 'mike & Molly,' Wishing Me Congratulations. I'm Always The Last One To The Party, Man. But That's Okay. I Got There.

Look, You Know, You Can't Please Everybody. I'm A Stand-up Comic. I Know That. It Doesn't Matter How Funny You Are And How Well You Do, There's Two People That Are Going To Walk Out Of There Hating You.

I Have Been A Big Guy All My Life, I Am Not Going To Lose A Bunch Of Weight, Because Then You're Like That Weird Fat Person That Got Skinny But Still Has A Big Head. I Don't Want To Do That. So I'm Just Trying.

You Need A Wisecracking Buddy Standing Next To You? That's The Role For Me. You Got The Guys Who Are Knock-down, Drag-out Handsome. That's What People Want To See. Let That Guy Be The Hero. But There's Always A Role For The Everyman.

You Know, I'm Playing The Mirage In Vegas, The Main Room... About 5 Percent Of All Comics End Up As The Main Headliner On The Vegas Strip, So That's A Big Deal For Me. Getting To Do My Stand-up The Way I Have This Summer Is Really What I've Dreamed Of Since I Was About 10 Years Old.