I’m Not A Religious Person; I Would

I Always Loved Comedy, But It Never Seemed Like Something That I Could Do Professionally.

I Think Brilliant Stuff Comes Out Of Working With Limitations. One Liners Are Very Limiting, But That's What Drew Me To Them In The First Place.

Charlie Sheen Called His Boss On 'two And A Half Men' A 'jew Ki**' And Expected To Go Back To Work. That’s Crazy. If You Could Do That And Keep Your Job, Then Everybody Would Do It.

I Would Never Hit A Woman - Even If She Had A Knife Or A Stutter.

I Love Austin, But Last Time I Was In Town For Twelve Hours. I Was Exhausted, Drunk And Miserable. But None Of That Was Austin's Fault.