I Love You Like A Fat Kid

You Might Think The Word "homemade" Is Just A Word We Use As A Marketing Ploy. But What You Don't Realize Is That The Staff Sleeps Here At Night. If Your Tablecloth Is Wrinkled, That's Why.

Needing Someone Is Like Needing A Parachute. If They Are Not There The First Time You Need Them, Chances Are You Won't Be Needing Them Again.

Ask A Deeply Religious Christian If He’d Rather Live Next To A Bearded Muslim That May Or May Not Be Plotting A Terror Attack, Or An Atheist That May Or May Not Show Him How To Set Up A Wireless Network In His House. On The Scale Of Prejudice, Atheists Don’t Seem So Bad Lately.

Dance Like It Hurts. Love Like You Need Money. Work When People Are Watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

A Matador Is A Guy Who Didn't Have Enough People Skills To Be Promoted To Serial Killer.