I Love Steven Wright.

I Just Found Out That I Have More Allies Than America!

Timing Is Everything. That's A Cliche. Now. If I'd Said That A Long Time Ago, I'd Have Been Original.

Cotton Candy Is The Perfect Snack For When I'm In The Mood To Eat Dry, Scratchy Fabric.

I Am Sometimes Referred To As Excuse Me In An Annoyed Tone Of Voice, Because Apparently I Am In The Way. I Am So Sorry. I Am Supposed To Be Some Sort Of Mind Reader, I Guess. I Am Moving Out Of The Way Now As Slowly As I Possibly Can. I Am Doing This And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

I Tend To Avoid Televisions, Politics, And Places With Velvet Ropes.