I Love Steven Wright.

A Parade Looks Like A Bunch Of People Are Excited About Being In Traffic.

For Me And Most Of My Friends Who Are Comedians, If You've Been Doing Comedy For A While, Your Tolerance For Things Actually Moves. I Find It Very Hard To Be Shocked, And When Other People Aggressively Take Offense To Something, I'm Sometimes Confused.

Statistics Indicate That The Average American Is A Guy Named Brian Who Lives In Ohio.

I Thought I Would, You Know, Go To College, Get To Law School, Finish, And Then Get A Job And Work As A Lawyer, But That Proved To Be Not A Good Fit For Me.

I Went Whale Watching Once. It Was Very Similar To Watching People On A Boat Become Disappointed.