I Love Las Vegas. I Like That

The Hardest Diet I Was Ever On Was The One When I Was Fat. You Can Only Wear Fat Clothes, You Don't Feel Good, Your Sex Life Gets Damaged, You Don't Have Energy For Anything. It's Horrible.

Oh, You Hate Your Job? Why Didn't You Say So? There's A Support Group For That. It's Called Everybody, And They Meet At The Bar.

I Don't Run Outside, Honestly. Sometimes I Go Out Around My House, But Mainly It's The Stupid Treadmill. I Wish I Had A Better Answer, But I'm Very Businesslike About My Runs.

We'll Never See National Shows With 45 Shares Again.

I Don't Care If My Jokes Are Appropriate For A Kid.