I Love Key Lime Pie, Although It's

I Have A Very Silly Sense Of Humor. I've Never Laughed Harder In My Entire Life Than Seeing Someone With Toilet Paper Stuck On The Bottom Of Their Shoe.

Gay Republicans, How Exactly Does That Work? 'we Disapprove Of Our Own Lifestyle. We Beat Ourselves Up In Parking Lots.

The Pleasure Of The Mulch Pile Is Incomprehensible. I Wouldn't Care If They Just Hauled The Mulch To The Landfill Somewhere. Obviously, Grass Clippings Are Biodegradable, But When They're Bunched Together At The Landfill, They Become Badly Influenced By Other Garbage.

It's Funny That We Think Of Libraries As Quiet Demure Places Where We Are Shushed By Dusty, Bun-balancing, Bespectacled Women. The Truth Is Libraries Are Raucous Clubhouses For Free Speech, Controversy And Community. Librarians Have Stood Up To The Patriot Act, Sat Down With Noisy Toddlers And Reached Out To Illiterate Adults. Libraries Can Never Be Shushed.

My Mom Is One Of Those Really Angry Moms Who Gets Mad At Absolutely Everything. Once When I Was A Little Kid, I Accidentally Knocked A Flintstones Glass Off The Kitchen Table. She Said, 'well, Dammit, We Can't Have Nice Things.'