I Love Key Lime Pie, Although It's

When Every High School Graduate Can Spell The Word, 'inauguration,' Let's Put Lampshades On Our Heads And Listen To His Speeches Until Obama's Voice Gives Out.

I Made Mistakes And I Broke The Law And I'm More Than Willing To Pay A Price For That. But There's A Price Beyond That That My Children Have Paid, And That's Not What Was Supposed To Happen.

The Mistakes That I Made I Made Because I Drank Too Much. I Don't Think That's Going To Happen Any More. Am I Going To Make Mistakes As A Parent? Sadly, Every Day. I'm Looking Around For The Perfect Parent And I Haven't Seen One Yet.

I Have Terrible Short-term Memory Loss, Which I Like To Think Of As Presidential Eligibility.

My Mom Is One Of Those Really Angry Moms Who Gets Mad At Absolutely Everything. Once When I Was A Little Kid, I Accidentally Knocked A Flintstones Glass Off The Kitchen Table. She Said, 'well, Dammit, We Can't Have Nice Things.'