I Let People Down Easy With Inspiration.

I Feel Like Elvis. Only Alive.

In Case You Haven't Caught The Commercials, I'm In The New Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

The Problem With Me Is That Nothing Embarrasses Me. Everything I've Done Ends Up Working In My Favor. Even When I Make Mistakes And People Exploit My Mistakes On Television Or On The Internet, And They Use It To Make Fun Of Me, It's Just Kind Of Working In My Favor At The End. It's Really Strange.

When You Realize That Life Isn't Fair, You Don't Act Out, You Don't Get Overly Wasted, You Don't Get Self-indulgent. You Just Move Forward.

I Have A Guinness Book Of World Records Entry As The Most-watched Person On Television; Now I Have A New Entry As The Only Man Who Has A Crab Named After Him.