I Know These Jokes Aren't Great, Ladies

Sarah Palin's Book Is Big, 400 Pages. She Wrote The Book Herself And Agonized Over Every Word, And So Will You.

The Latest Polls Show That Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Trailing Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante In The Polls. That's Insane. I Mean, Think About It, This Guy Cruz Bustamante Has Never Even Been In A Movie.

Child Labor, Not A Problem. Censorship, Not A Problem. Torture, Not A Problem. Chewing Gum In China - Oh, My God! You Better Not Be Over Here Chewing Gum.

John Boehner Is A Member Of A Country Club In Ohio. It Turns Out That The Bartender Was Plotting To Poison Boehner. Now Wait A Minute. Isn't That The Movie With Seth Rogen And James Franco?

Experts Say This Global Warming Is Serious, And They Are Predicting Now That By The Year 2050, We Will Be Out Of Party Ice.