I Know Its Corny, But Laughter Is

When I Was A Kid, I Was Afraid Of Other Kids.

Yes, I Direct Commercials As Well. I Get These Really Weird Offers And Then I Have To Bid On Them And Win The Job. One Offer That I Have Now, And I've Already Done This Last Year For The Same Company, Is For Cash Value Cheese, This Cheese Out In The Midwest. I Did Two Spots For Them Last Year And I'm Going To Probably Do Three This Year. I Also Did Some For The Utah Transit Authority, Which Was Weird And Interesting And They Turned Out Really Funny - They Actually Won An Award.

I Went To Network On A Handful Of Pilots, And Going To Network Is The Most Stressful Situation Anybody Can Ever Be In. You're Supposed To Be On Point, You're Supposed To Be At The Top Of Your Game, The Funniest You Can Be, In About Five Minutes, In Front Of People Wearing Suits Who Really Don't Care, And They've Probably Already Picked Their Person, But They Have To See A Handful Just To Satisfy The Process. It's The Most Horrible, Horrible Process Known To Man. I Wouldn't Want Anybody To Go Through It.

I Used To Steal A Lot. But I Don't Do That Anymore, Because I Believe In Karma.

I Had No Blood Relatives Till I Made Some.