I Just Found Out That I Have

I Like To Use 'i Can't Believe It's Not Butter' On My Toast In The Morning, Because Sometimes When I Eat Breakfast, I Like To Be Incredulous. How Was Breakfast? Unbelievable.

You Never Forget Your First Kiss. And That's What Makes It So Hard To Forgive My Uncle.

The Problem With My Balloon Collection Is That People Always Think There's A Party. Settle Down. It's Not A Party. It's Just Balloons.

I Used To Play Sports. Then I Realized You Can Buy Trophies. Now I Am Good At Everything.

I Hate Seeing People That Look Like You. Especially If God's Living By The Motto 'if At First You Don't Succeed.'