I Get So Happy When I Write

There Is A Woman Who Swam Around Manhattan, And I Asked Her, Why? She Said, It Hadn't Ever Been Done Before. Well, She Didn't Have To Do That. If She Wanted To Something No One Had Ever Done Before, All She Had To Do Was Vacuum My Apartment.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.

I Burned Sixty Calories. That Should Take Care Of A Peanut I Had In 1962.

When A Woman Tries On Clothing From Her Closet That Feels Tight, She Will Assume She Has Gained Weight. When A Man Tries Something From His Closet That Feels Tight, He Will Assume The Clothing Has Shrunk.

Men Like Cars, Women Like Clothes. Women Only Like Cars Because They Take Them To Clothes.