I Get So Happy When I Write

Men Who Consistently Leave The Toilet Seat Up Secretly Want Women To Get Up To Go The Bathroom In The Middle Of The Night And Fall In.

When I Was A Kid, I Had Two Friends, And They Were Imaginary And They Would Only Play With Each Other.

Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before.

In High School I Was Voted The Girl Most Likely To Become A Nun. That May Not Be Impressive To You, But It Was Quite An Accomplishment At The Hebrew Academy.

I Burned Sixty Calories. That Should Take Care Of A Peanut I Had In 1962.